You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
