Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
