I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
this will be a night to untag.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
