His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
