so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
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he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
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I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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