You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
