For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
