You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
