hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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