i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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