oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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