is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
