Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize