spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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