oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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