Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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