I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
