i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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