Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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