Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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