Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
