I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
