Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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