Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
