This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
