I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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