Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My pussy is not your playground.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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