Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
