I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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