this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
