she looked like the bat from fern gully.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
