If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
