My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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