i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
