She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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