cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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