Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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