Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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