No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
ok first of all what the fuck
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
