I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
