omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
