How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
