I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
