I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
