Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
