I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
