so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
