i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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