I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
