Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
