u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just pynch a tree in the face
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize