I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
