the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
