I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
