Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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