chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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