I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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