did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize