check it out our google latitudes are spooning
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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