He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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