FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize